Wednesday, March 23, 2011

称呼趣谈

旧日学生读《寒梅网页》,留下他的电邮邮址要与我联络。他称我为Puan Chew。从他的称呼,我知道他是我在雅比灵国民中学的学生。

我在槟州教书三十年,总共教过三间学校,退休后董事部要我出长独中。最初落脚槟州那两年,我仍“流落”在海的另一边----在北海圣马克中学执教。英校作风的学校,尽管我教的科目是华文,全校上下都称我为Mrs Chew。好不容易申请到槟岛,我被调到国民中学教华文。在马来学校里,从校长、同事、学生到校中员工,人人都称我为Puan Chew。直到我申请到国民型中学,我才成为曾老师。至于称呼我为曾校长的,自然是独中的师生或他们的家属。

其实何止同一个教师在不同源流学校有不同的称呼,每个人在扮演不同角色时也有不同的称呼。一个女人同时是丈夫的“亲爱的”(这还得视夫妻间亲密的程度及多方面的影响而言,香港电视的影迷叫太太为“老婆”、闽南人叫“牵手的”、老夫老妻叫“老的”、刻薄的丈夫叫太太做“黄脸婆”。。。不一而足)、孩子的妈妈、学生的老师、父母则以小名叫她。意识再迷糊,没有人会对不同身份的称呼感到混淆,只是,有时会因为被称呼惯了,误用第二人称作为自称。最近就遇到有被称为师兄、居士或者老师的信徒,与师父通电话时一时疏忽,竟然以第二者的称呼自称。更妙的是我曾听到信徒对师父自称是“xx博士”、“拿督xxx”等世俗的衔头 。

我有一个朋友,她那身为中央医院医生的女婿坚持她们一家老少都必须以“医生”的称号称呼他,令她感到很不是滋味。我教她放下丈母娘的身段,就当作是在对一个医生讲话不就行了吗?来自诗礼传家的书香世代,她有她的坚持。碍于梗在心里那根刺,她选择疏远独生女,眼不见为净,没见面她就无需用恭恭敬敬的称号去称呼晚辈。只为了对称呼过分执著,令她失去亲情后落得郁郁而终,造成遗憾。

当记者的朋友告诉我他们常常面对执著称号的“有功人士”所非难。写新闻或当面称呼,只要漏了一个勋衔,或是那人已晋级“拿督斯里”,你仍称他为“拿督”,你就得等着挨他一顿臭骂,至少要看他的黑脸。为了抚平心里的不满,这群脑筋转得快的年轻人竟然自创一套阿Q反攻法,他们与拿督寒暄时,用该有的勋衔尊称真正对社会有建树的拿督,却嬉皮笑脸谑称混出来的“拿督”为“拿督公”,暗喻他们像只能供在路旁却进不了厅堂的拿督公。神比人高一级,能晋身拿督公,被称者乐陶陶,他们却耍了人而暗地里喜滋滋。

记得先夫在世时曾经说起他在台湾遇到一位木雕技艺师,替大马富商雕一张准备送给宗祠的供桌,顾主是一群复姓拿督的人。他弄不明白的是祠堂祖上并不姓拿督,何来姓拿督的后人?事情发生在整三十年前,那时台湾与我国两国人的交往还不频密,膺拿督勋衔的人也不普遍,他不知道那群人其实并不姓拿督,而是有着拿督勋衔的人。在祖宗面前,犹自放不下这份虚荣心,这种人岂容得下记者忽视了他们引以为荣的勋称?

医生、校长、博士、主席的身份虽然被肯定,但是在关系不同的人的嘴里,就不能同日而言。父母肯定不会用医生、校长、博士或主席的称号称呼自己的子女,那个中央医院的医生何需坚持要岳母称他为医生以致闹得老人家含恨而去?还记得有一回,一位旧同事递给我一份文件,要我转交给Mr. Chan。我一头雾水,不知道他指的Mr. Chan是何方神圣?他却也奇怪我怎么会不认识Mr. Chan?弄清楚后才知道是住在我家对门的三弟。从小到大,我只叫他的乳名,从没Mr.过他,怎会联想到Mr. Chan指的是他?可见称号只是方便称呼而做的记号,能助旁人从两个人的称号知道他们的亲属关系、辈分、地位的尊卑、交情的亲疏,如此而已,只要恰对身份,的确是无需太执著。

----------------------------------寒梅

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

身后事

脑震荡的病人昏迷不醒多日,情况并不乐观,医院不能无限期收留他,亲属讨论要如何安置。这些虽有血缘关系,说亲其实并不亲的亲属讨论的重心不在安置病人,反而是如何处理他的后事。有人说他孤家寡人,死后没有子嗣祭祀,主张火化后将骨灰送进海里,一了百了;有人以家族从来没有火葬的惯例,他必须土葬。该葬在哪个坟场是另一轮的争执。看着躺在床上,没法为自己的身后事发言的朋友,我和结伴到访的同事有无限的感慨。华人处理身后事时,时有纠纷,所以俗语把纠结不清的事叫做“死人事”,让我联想到不久之前发生数宗私冢毁墓引致的纠纷。
事情发生在农历新年前,一连两座家族私冢据说因后代子孙为让路物业发展而毁坟拾金,闹得沸沸扬扬。两座私冢里各埋有权势煊赫一时的人士的遗骨,尤其当中一座的后代子孙拾金时手法草率,七十多座先人古坟,多达百具骸骨,竟聘外劳在短短两个星期内击毁墓碑,起出棺木,把遗骨草草装在塑胶盒,棺木或在现场焚烧,或以泥土覆盖了事,为社会人士所诟病,成为茶余饭后的话题。
拾金手法过分轻率,有对先人不敬之嫌,新闻见报后引起社会人士震惊。又因埋骨在家族私冢的先人当中,有人曾经是槟城开埠甲必丹,这件后代子孙视为外人没权置喙的“家事”引起历史文化工作者的关注;拾金后坟场地上发现人类骨骸,引来名堪舆师的关注,一时议论纷纷。百年古坟被毁的新闻不但在国内大幅度见报,《台湾时报周刊》也以6大版面专题报导,惊动已移居国外的子孙及犹在国内的后裔,酝酿对峙冲突的局面。纷争从后代子孙直到历史文化工作者 、名堪舆家;从国内直到国外,涉及的层面不小!
家族私冢是古时有钱人家为让一家大小身后依然能长聚所做的安排。一般上,他们先请堪舆师选定能荫子孙的风水福地,买下来作为一家大小的葬身之所。这一来,不但整个家族在百年后依然可以永远团聚在一起,更希望后代子孙能蒙家族私冢的好风水所荫而万年富贵。长辈为了后代子孙,化为春泥还护花的苦心很令人感动。既然含有冀望埋骨之地的风水庇荫子孙兴荣,他们选葬地时一点不含糊,只要能力所及,有野心的甚至求龙穴,至少也要选个坐山望海,取其后面“有靠山”,前面一片浩瀚的福地。先人那一番苦心竟然落得连自己的葬身之地都难保,能不叫人心寒?
不知是今日地价高昂或是世人观念有改变,置家族私冢的风气如今已不盛行。现代的人,采用土葬的一般都葬在地缘性的义山(或称为公冢)。除非占了人事上的方便,要不然一律依死亡先后为序,按序排位,不得选心中喜欢的好风水福地。即使为求好风水而花大笔钱买下私营墓园里的墓穴,也没法再与子子孙孙的尸骨比邻安葬。于是,私冢与义山成为身份的分水岭,其实各有春秋:拥有私冢表示祖上身世煊赫,但葬身地的存毁权掌握在后代子孙手中,极有可能就如槟城那两座毁坟拾金的家族私冢一样,有尸骨不得安宁的一天;埋身义山很平民化却少有被骚扰之忧。
看到望族子孙毁家族私冢,爸爸在替弥留的妈妈选择火葬时的话浮上我的心头。当时我不敢相信年纪老大的爸爸愿意火葬,一再要他深思。他语气坚决地说:“三代之后,子孙与你没有深厚的感情,肯不肯来扫墓还未可知。与其把遗骨留着让杂草缠磨,听牛群践踏,成为蛇鼠之窝,倒不如火葬比较干脆利落。”爸爸的话没错,事实摆在眼前,三代之后,亲请渐疏淡,谁还来管你生前的地位有多显赫?
私冢的保养费不赀,人力物力的担子不轻,后代子孙分枝散叶后,该由谁来负担?何况对象都是素未谋面,感情不过尔耳的先人,有多少个后代子孙乐意挑起这种重担?多年前,一位朋友的外祖家家族墓园在她舅舅经营不当之下,累积的地税没能力清还,以致被市政局充公,经过拍卖,改建高级公寓。当发展商派人来为她家的先人拾金那天,她的心里不好受,避讳不肯出席见证。据她说年老的舅母虽柱着拐杖现身墓园,不过,不知是怕触景伤情或是愧对祖先,始终不肯上前确认陪葬品,那种凄凉与无奈的感觉我们局外人很难体会得到。从那时起,我一直对购置家族私冢很不以为然。
人死之后,这一期生命已结束,臭皮囊随着尘归尘,土归土,即使墓穴相比邻,各人生前所造的业迥然不同,往生后去向也各异,还能强求长相聚吗?坟墓充其量只是留给后人凭吊的标志,只要不带侮辱性的糟蹋,何需太过于执著?
------------------------寒梅

Friday, March 11, 2011

自责

我的大女儿过年后回英国没几天,就传给我Jay的死讯。Jay是她一位旧同事兼好友的丈夫。那位巴基斯坦籍的妇产专科医生与我的大女儿曾在苏格兰艾泊琳医院同事多年,她结婚后才随夫婿迁居英格兰伯明翰。他们结婚时,我不在英国,没有参加婚礼,两夫妻趁我到英国访女儿时带我去用餐,那是我第一次与Jay见面。

Jay为人爽直,谈吐幽默。在英国停留太久,他的一言一行有英国绅士的风度,也给自己取个洋化的名字。虽然与我初次见面,但他从太太谈话中早已熟识我。他来自马来西亚怡保,所以我们有好多共同的话题。与他初见面时是在过农历新年后不久,我给他带去的手信是kuih kapit,一种用糖、椰浆混合米浆,用特制饼模烘成的新年饼食,适合土著的口味,尤其像Jay这样,远离祖国整二十多年的马来土著,Jay在三天内就把一罐饼吃光了。

Jay 在英国完成学业后就一直留在那儿工作,由于一些家族的小误会,他不肯与家人联络,也不曾踏进祖国国土一步,不但护照逾期,他所持的身份证一直没更换,还是上世纪六十年代发出的蓝色的版本。后来,他听说妈妈生病,才动了回国省亲的念头。不知是孝心感动人或是凭他的土著身份,他顺利取得合法证件。没有护照,他一直没法踏出英国,婚后蜜月也只在英国度过。据他的太太说,取得护照那天晚上,他兴奋得抱着护照睡觉。

他们小两口在英国无亲无戚,常邀我的大女儿到家里度周末,也一起庆祝彼此的生日、他俩的结婚纪念日及其他节日,属于交情很深的朋友。两年前,Jay传短讯给我的女儿说他患癌。坏消息把我的女儿愣住了。虽然我的女儿与他们夫妇俩无所不谈,但是,凭她与他的太太十多年同事的交情,她期待Jay的太太能与她谈心事也一起分担生活上的风雨。令我的女儿失望的是Jay的太太不但冷淡回应我的女儿询问病情的电话与短讯,不再邀我的女儿也不肯赴我女儿的约。两年来断断续续的短讯都是Jay在问,我的女儿在答。多次碰到冷脸子,我的女儿失去耐性,后来不再主动致电,只在Jay询问时给他回电。

去年底,从Jay的短讯中知道他们俩到美国寻医,也从Jay传来的短讯中跟进他的病情。女儿回英国后,就接到美国传来的噩耗,也在这时才知道后期的短讯都是由Jay的太太用丈夫的手机所发出。

这发现让我的女儿很内疚,也很自责。她为了电话及短讯被冷漠搁置所引发的怒气顿时消失了,也后悔曾经嚷着“我不再是小女孩,她怎么能把我好意的问候与短讯置之不理?”,“她不屑理我,我今后也不会理她。”反过来,她心疼地说:“我明白了,这全是因为打击太大,她一时回应不来才拒绝与我谈Jay的病情,不该怪她。”

同一个人,同一件事,当你从不同的角度看,感觉竟然迥然不同。病人还健在的时候,没有“悔不当初”的感觉,你可以对人情的处理法吹毛求疵;可以任性地处罚你认为处事不当的人,一旦事情到了没有回旋的地步,你才惊觉自己当时太苛求以致误了事,遗憾的是这时已太迟了!

我的大女儿处事一向有分寸,少看到她如此痛心疾首,我只能安慰她说:“其实错不全在你,你已尽你所能,甚至在赶回国过年的途中停下脚步给他回短讯,你已仁至义尽,无需再自责。”等她的情绪平稳后,我会加上:从这次的经验,你该学到“凡事退一步,你能看到更清晰的局面,人生就少了许多没必要的悔疚。”

-----------------------寒梅

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

我家的喵喵

喵喵改过用撒尿表示抗议的坏习惯后,我对它无需再步步为营,生活就少了压力。

人猫相处的日子一久,感觉上喵喵似乎越来越有人性,甚至懂得解读我的指令。每当我找不到它,只需连声叫“喵喵”,再问它为什么没回应?它会立即跑到我身边,即使是在用餐之后躲着睡懒觉,它也会低声喵一声,让我知道它躲在哪儿。它有任何要求,会跑到我的身边,抬起头朝着我喵喵叫,然后引着我走。十有九次是把我引到储藏室门外,用头顶着门示意要我开门让它进去。不能确定它撒尿抗议的坏习惯是否彻底根除,我一直不放心让它进入藏有很多书的储藏室以防万一。一次又一次的失望,它可并不气馁,直到两个女儿回家过年,小女儿为它说项,它才得以如愿。

喵喵很害臊,家里来了生人,它就飞一般地觅地躲藏。从前,它总躲在小女儿房里梳妆台下那个特地为它布置的窝,如今则躲进储藏室里 。有时事出突然,它来不及跑进房,也总有办法躲得不见踪影。有一天,点种工人来洗地,它一晃就不见影子。那时储藏室的门还关着,我家地方小,能藏身的地方有限,我们俩寻遍了屋里每个角落,就是找不到它,让我担心了老半天,生怕它是趁我开门时溜出去。谁知工人才一离去,它就奇迹似地出现了,神出鬼没的功夫很了得。

小女儿一回家,喵喵就交回由她打理。只要小女儿迟给它吃早餐或没按时清理它的排泄物,它会跑来找我,喵喵叫着把我引到它的饭碗或供它排泄的沙箱边。大女儿看了好笑,说它很会打小报告,称它为Tell-Tale Cat。喵喵每天早晚各吃一罐罐头鱼,间中则吃猫干粮。只要它没把上半天的鱼吃个精光,我就不给它开晚餐。几次下来,喵喵学乖了,晚餐前必然把饭碗舔得干干净净,然后跑来找我要晚餐,比要妈妈追着喂饭的孩子更善解人意,所以我很疼它。

只要没有外人在场,喵喵像极了黏妈妈的小孩:我写稿,它卧在书桌上小抽屉的上面打盹;我煮饭做菜,它伏在洗碗盆前的窗台,眯起眼睛耐心地等,偶而还在我开关水喉时伸出前爪抓我的手;我坐在沙发上听新闻报导,它跳上来与我排排坐,累了就把身子蜷成一团,靠着我睡得很甜;我从外回家时,门一开,它必定忠心耿耿地在门边等我回来。我一进门,它喵一声表示问候。

喵喵唯有的消遣就是跟我的大女儿买给它的香包小老鼠玩,它装模作样地把小老鼠抛上丢下,再扑上前去抓它;有时则紧抱住小老鼠,与它摔跤;只要在地上放几粒乒乓球、几根吸水草,它就不亦乐乎地玩半天。精力太盛,无处发泄时,它用爪猛抓专为它而备,用粗绳缠成的Scratch pad。

喵喵偶尔也有淘气的时候,我走过它的身边,它突然跳过来抱住我的脚,吓了我一跳;预料我要走进房间,它的动作比我更快,箭一般冲进去,躲在床脚或匿在枕头堆里与我玩捉迷藏;我与朋友通电话,背向着它,它不甘被冷落,伸出前爪拍拍我的背,或是挤坐在窗槛上,伸前爪轻拍我的头引我注意,与顽皮的孩子无异。
别以为我返老还童,年纪老大了还逗猫儿为乐,其实猫儿不止调剂我的生活,也因为有照顾它的责任感,我不断告诉自己我得好好照顾自己,病了需住院留医,谁来照顾猫儿呢?喵喵实际上是推动我积极生活的原动力!
--------------------------寒梅

Friday, February 25, 2011

孙女的旅游日记

Jessica Chew
Travel Journal
Penang, Malaysia
18.9.10 to 3.10.10
Saturday 18.09.10
Off to Penang.
Sunday 19.09.10
We landed in Penang after midnight.We went to the Evergreen
hotel by mini bus.We stayed on level 18 which is
the highest level.We could see the sea through our window
from the 18th floor.
At lunch we ate chicken rice and drank ice tea. Next to the
restaurant there was a biscuit shop.We bought three moon
cakes in the shape of pigs.We also bought three lanterns
in the shape of a bird and a fish.
Then we went to a
temple which had a
large pagoda where
my Ah Kong
(grandfather) was
buried.We prayed
to Ah Kong.
From the top of the Pagoda
we could see views of life
in Penang showing the old
and new developments .We
could see the decorated
roof tops of temples and
where the land was cleared
and stepped out for farming
high in the mountain.
We saw turkeys and a chicken by the side of the road.
Then we went shopping with Ah Mah (grandmother), Kor
Kor(first aunty) and Sean Kor (Second aunty).
Monday 20.9.10
For breakfast we had roti chanai. Mummy had fruit with
chocolate sauce.We went to the reclining Buddha and Burmese
temple. The floor tiles show the lotus flower.We
found English Buddhist books and donated some money
by clipping it on a tree.We also found the pictures in one
of our books on the corridor leading up to this temple, the
pictures tell the life of Buddha.
Tuesday 21.9.10
We went shopping and Ah Mah bought us a tiger toy and
we had lunch at a Japanese restaurant passed food by train.
We went swimming in a pool with a fountain.
Wednesday 22.9.10
Kek Lok si temple, with the largest Goddess of mercy.We
went on a cable car to the top of 200 steps where there
were statues of the Chinese zodiac.We had ice cream and
we fed carp (a type of fish) and turtles.
At night we had the moon cake festival to celebrate the full
moon held in September. One lantern caught fire and burnt
up, so we walked very carefully with our lanterns. At the
dinner we were given two games and they were a monkey
game and Congkak (which is a very traditional game)
Thursday 23.9.10
We had a rest day and went out for dinner where we had
prawns, crab, sea snails and fish. I tried the fish.We were
at the end of the Penang island.We were really meant to be
there to walk on the beach but as always in Penang it was
raining, so we also did not see the sunset. So we just had
dinner then drove for an hour to get home to the hotel.
Friday 24.9.10
Shopping and time to show our ballet to Ah Mah
Saturday 25.9.10
We had fun playing in the playroom.We also went swimming
except not Daddy. That night the whole family met
for dinner we took up four tables and still half the family
was not there. I have 10 aunties and 4 uncles (on Ah
Mah’s side of the family) there were so many there that I
don’t know any of them also because there names are so
hard to say. For example my 3rd great aunty is Sah Ee Poh
and 3rd great uncle is Sah Teow Kong .
Sunday 26.9.10
We just played in the play room .We went to the night markets.
Penang comes alive at night the people eat out at
night and go shopping at night like we did.
Monday 27.9.10
We went to a swimming club for diner
Tuesday 28.9.10
Khoo Kongsi, then we went to little India and we saw the
Indian way of life and landscape (India architecture which
is the style of building}and shops selling Indian wears,
clothes and food.We bought beautiful bracelets.We couldn’t
ride on a trishaw (a bike with 3 wheels and a carriage
for passengers to sit with flowers and umbrella to shade
and decorate) as Ah Mah and Daddy suffered food poisoning.
The food is yummy and I love eating Indian fried
bread called roti chanai. My sister likes cheese naan a thick
Indian bread.
Wednesday 29.09.10
We went to a Penang fishing village and saw very poor
houses where people live on a jetty of planks over the sea
and fish to make money. The boats and houses were very
old. This showed another Penang landscape.We also went
to a fish Aquarium and a temple at the ocean. From here
you could see the fishing village next to huge modern tall
buildings.
Thursday 30.09.10
Today we are going to the snake temple where there are
snakes that don’t have cages. They would always stay still
there were at least 20 snakes .
We went to another temple and we saw turtles and fish
and a giant footprint that came from an emperor.
Friday 1.10.10
Shopping and family time at Queensbay mall we filled a
whole suitcase. Shopping is cheaper in Penang.
For example:
1RM is 1 x 2/5=40c
10RM is 10x2/5=$4.00
100RM is 100 x 2/5 = $40
Saturday 2.10.10
Shopping
Sunday
3.10.10
Get on the plane.
Home sweet home!
The homes in Penang are very different fromAustralia. The houses
looked crowded. Some houses looked run down.We saw animals running
free in the city. We saw cows, chickens and dogs next to busy roads.
There are many cars. Some of the cars do not have safety belts in the
back seat. The cars went faster in Penang.
There are many temples. There are different types of religions.We could
hear prayers 5 times a day.
The temples are all very beautiful. Sometimes we had to pay to see the
temples.
We saw many restaurants and eating stalls. Sometimes they were dirty.
The local people eat at these stalls. Sometimes food is sent around by
bike.
There are a lot of shops. The shops look bigger and with more things to
buy.
The local people starred at my sisters and I because we looked different.
Sometimes they liked to touch our cheeks and take our photos.
The End

去年我家大团聚,大孙女说她要用文字留下记忆。七岁的小女孩说的话,我不当一回事。后来,在悉尼与我的儿子见面,他说会把孙女的游记邮递给我。


我操纵电脑的能力有限,一直没法与读者分享孙女的文笔。直到翼骏帮我输入孙女的旅游日记才能与读者分享。谢谢翼骏。

孙女的旅游日记

Jessica Chew Travel Journal Penang, Malaysia

18.9.10 to 3.10.10

Saturday 18.09.10
Off to Penang.

Sunday 19.09.10
We landed in Penang after midnight. We went to the Evergreen hotel by mini bus. We stayed on level 18 which is the highest level. We could see the sea through our window from the 18th floor.
At lunch we ate chicken rice and drank ice tea. Next to the restaurant there was a biscuit shop. We bought three moon cakes in the shape of pigs. We also bought three lanterns in the shape of a bird and a fish.
Then we went to a temple which had a large pagoda where my Ah Kong (grandfather) was buried. We prayed to Ah Kong. temple which had a large pagoda where my Ah Kong (grandfather) was buried. We prayed to Ah Kong.
From the top of the Pagoda we could see views of life in Penang showing the old and new developments .We could see the decorated roof tops of temples and where the land was cleared and stepped out for farming high in the mountain.
We saw turkeys and a chicken by the side of the road.
Then we went shopping with Ah Mah (grandmother), Kor Kor(first aunty) and Sean Kor (Second aunty).

Monday 20.9.10
For breakfast we had roti chanai. Mummy had fruit with chocolate sauce. We went to the reclining Buddha and Burmese temple. The floor tiles show the lotus flower. We found English Buddhist books and donated some money by clipping it on a tree. We also found the pictures in one of our books on the corridor leading up to this temple, the pictures tell the life of Buddha.

Tuesday 21.9.10
We went shopping and Ah Mah bought us a tiger toy and we had lunch at a Japanese restaurant passed food by train. We went swimming in a pool with a fountain.

Wednesday 22.9.10
Kek Lok si temple, with the largest Goddess of mercy. We went on a cable car to the top of 200 steps where there were statues of the Chinese zodiac. We had ice cream and we fed carp (a type of fish) and turtles.
At night we had the moon cake festival to celebrate the full moon held in September. One lantern caught fire and burnt up, so we walked very carefully with our lanterns. At the dinner we were given two games and they were a monkey game and Congkak (which is a very traditional game) moon held in September. One lantern caught fire and burnt up, so we walked very carefully with our lanterns. At the dinner we were given two games and they were a monkey game and Congkak (which is a very traditional game)

Thursday 23.9.10
We had a rest day and went out for dinner where we had prawns, crab, sea snails and fish. I tried the fish. We were at the end of the Penang island. We were really meant to be there to walk on the beach but as always in Penang it was raining, so we also did not see the sunset. So we just had dinner then drove for an hour to get home to the hotel.

Friday 24.9.10
Shopping and time to show our ballet to Ah Mah

Saturday 25.9.10
We had fun playing in the playroom. We also went swimming except not Daddy. That night the whole family met for dinner we took up four tables and still half the family was not there. I have 10 aunties and 4 uncles (on Ah Mah’s side of the family) there were so many there that I don’t know any of them also because there names are so hard to say. For example my 3rd great aunty is Sah Ee Poh and 3rd great uncle is Sah Teow Kong .

Sunday 26.9.10
We just played in the play room .We went to the night markets. Penang comes alive at night the people eat out at night and go shopping at night like we did.

Monday 27.9.10
We went to a swimming club for diner

Tuesday 28.9.10
Khoo Kongsi, then we went to little India and we saw the Indian way of life and landscape (India architecture which is the style of building}and shops selling Indian wears, clothes and food. We bought beautiful bracelets. We could-n’t ride on a trishaw (a bike with 3 wheels and a carriage for passengers to sit with flowers and umbrella to shade and decorate) as Ah Mah and Daddy suffered food poisoning. The food is yummy and I love eating Indian fried bread called roti chanai. My sister likes cheese naan a thick Indian bread.

Wednesday 29.09.10
We went to a Penang fishing village and saw very poor houses where people live on a jetty of planks over the sea and fish to make money. The boats and houses were very old. This showed another Penang landscape. We also went to a fish Aquarium and a temple at the ocean. From here you could see the fishing village next to huge modern tall buildings.

Thursday 30.09.10
Today we are going to the snake temple where there are snakes that don’t have cages. They would always stay still there were at least 20 snakes .
We went to another temple and we saw turtles and fish and a giant footprint that came from an emperor. and a giant footprint that came from an emperor.

Friday 1.10.10
Shopping and family time at Queensbay mall we filled a whole suitcase. Shopping is cheaper in Penang. For example: 1RM is 1 x 2/5=40c 10RM is 10x2/5=$4.00 100RM is 100 x 2/5 = $40

Saturday 2.10.10
Shopping

Sunday 3.10.10
Get on the plane. Home sweet home!
The homes in Penang are very different from Australia. The houses looked crowded. Some houses looked run down. We saw animals running free in the city. We saw cows, chickens and dogs next to busy roads. There are many cars. Some of the cars do not have safety belts in the back seat. The cars went faster in Penang. looked crowded. Some houses looked run down. We saw animals running free in the city. We saw cows, chickens and dogs next to busy roads. There are many cars. Some of the cars do not have safety belts in the back seat. The cars went faster in Penang.
There are many temples. There are different types of religions. We could hear prayers 5 times a day.
The temples are all very beautiful. Sometimes we had to pay to see the temples.
We saw many restaurants and eating stalls. Sometimes they were dirty. The local people eat at these stalls. Sometimes food is sent around by bike.
There are a lot of shops. The shops look bigger and with more things to buy.
The local people starred at my sisters and I because we looked different. Sometimes they liked to touch our cheeks and take our photos.

The End
去年我们的家庭团聚中,我的大孙女说她要用文字留下记忆。一个七岁的孩子说的话,我不当一回事。去年在悉尼见面,我的儿子说他会邮递孙女的游记给我。

我操纵电脑的能力有限,一直没法与读者分享,直到翼骏帮我输入孙女的游记,才能成功上网。

Saturday, February 19, 2011

豪门生活

外甥女嫁入豪门,尽管夫婿对她疼爱有加,但是她一回到槟城夫家,就如一般小媳妇,事事以公婆的意愿马首是瞻,凡事全没有置喙的余地,甚至回娘家的时间都少得可怜。

她一向贪酸嗜辣,犹记得她在澳洲读书时,住在我儿子的家,每一回我到访,都给她带去一大包酸梅,煮阿参叻沙、冬炎辣汤给她解馋。如今,她吃不惯夫家淡然无味的菜肴也得勉强吞下喉,这是她远不如嫁给小市民的妹妹那么自由、快乐之处。

年初一,弟妹甥侄都来我家拜年,我特地给外甥女冲一杯她最爱的酸梅汤。她的女儿吵着也要喝,才喝一口,她就丢下手中的利宾那黑葡萄汁,把妈妈的饮品抢过手据为己有,喝得津津有味。她爸爸连哄带骗,要她舍酸梅汤喝葡萄汁。四岁的小女孩只知饮品合不合她的口味,不会考虑饮品的营养价值,她爸爸也奈何她不得。接着,她抓住一包粟米条(Twisties corn snacks)不放,因为从她爸爸的眼色,她意会到爸爸会用别的过年应节小食换她手中的美食。果然不出她所料,父女俩展开另一场拉锯战。直到她妈妈开腔,说一年一次,就让她吃她爱吃的,绝不会吃坏身体。外甥女是医生,说的话想必有所根据,外甥女婿才没话说。

初二,在大弟家里团聚,晚饭前,爱玩两手的家人围着赌荷兰牌。小女孩也凑兴,由她的妈妈当军师,玩得不亦乐乎。外甥女婿坐在我的对面,他虽没出声,但我看到他频频皱眉头。

次日, 临回新加坡之前,他们到祖屋来。外甥女的一对子女对大人的交谈不感兴趣,他们只顾追着小狗玩。四岁的姐姐紧抱住狗儿,三岁的弟弟则把狗狗卷着的尾巴拉直了。手一放,尾巴又卷回去。狗狗挣扎着跑开,他两姐弟满屋子追着狗狗,重复玩着,乐得嘻哈大笑。外甥女婿忙着给子女洗手消毒。外甥女看了好笑,说新年里,与外甥女婿的家人聚合,他家其他小孩的动作都斯斯文文,讲话也细声细气,就只有她的一对子女最“流氓气”。不过,能给小孩适度的自由,她并不在意家族里其他人的看法。

在豪门里,衣着行动言谈都深受身份所拘束,这是外甥女需付出的代价。她的女儿年纪小小,遇到隆重的节日,穿的不是公主装裙子便是童装旗袍。去年,我的小女儿到新加坡工作,一时找不到准许养猫的公寓,就在外甥女家暂住两个星期,她的女儿见这位表姨一身长袖衣长裤,一再问她:“Aunty Cheeng , you are boy or girl?”原来在小女孩的意识里,Aunty 应该穿裙,她弄不清眼前这个穿长袖衣长裤的“男人”怎会是Aunty?他们一家只在大节日才与我们见面,看不到我们这些市井小民的生活,其实,她弄不清的事还多着呢!

我的小女儿一向随性,她从小就爱吃Twisties,不是在超级市场里一小包一小包的买,而是要我带她到社尾街批发商那儿一买就是一大包。她从小到大,除了校服,穿裙的次数不多,但是 ,她可不是“男人婆”,在大场面里,她穿起旗袍,还真婀娜多姿。我这个做妈妈的,只要孩子过得快乐,我并不计较无伤大雅的细节,所以三个孩子都有快乐的童年,包括不少糗事,如今成为他们兄妹间彼此取笑的话题。比起豪门里的孩子,这个不许做,那个不准做,我们家孩子的童年生活还真精彩!

外甥女的“老爷、奶奶”尊重她是专业人士,加上外甥女婿是长子,是父母的心肝宝贝,她家“老爷、奶奶”对她们一对子女的“流氓气”只好张一只眼,闭一只眼。为了安全,一家人的行动都在家翁的卫星监视中;为了增加家庭气氛,当年结婚度蜜月,家翁家婆带了一家人陪伴,虽然费用有老爷买单,我相信时下的年轻人没有多少个受得了这种豪门的生活方式。
----------------------寒梅