Friday, March 11, 2011

自责

我的大女儿过年后回英国没几天,就传给我Jay的死讯。Jay是她一位旧同事兼好友的丈夫。那位巴基斯坦籍的妇产专科医生与我的大女儿曾在苏格兰艾泊琳医院同事多年,她结婚后才随夫婿迁居英格兰伯明翰。他们结婚时,我不在英国,没有参加婚礼,两夫妻趁我到英国访女儿时带我去用餐,那是我第一次与Jay见面。

Jay为人爽直,谈吐幽默。在英国停留太久,他的一言一行有英国绅士的风度,也给自己取个洋化的名字。虽然与我初次见面,但他从太太谈话中早已熟识我。他来自马来西亚怡保,所以我们有好多共同的话题。与他初见面时是在过农历新年后不久,我给他带去的手信是kuih kapit,一种用糖、椰浆混合米浆,用特制饼模烘成的新年饼食,适合土著的口味,尤其像Jay这样,远离祖国整二十多年的马来土著,Jay在三天内就把一罐饼吃光了。

Jay 在英国完成学业后就一直留在那儿工作,由于一些家族的小误会,他不肯与家人联络,也不曾踏进祖国国土一步,不但护照逾期,他所持的身份证一直没更换,还是上世纪六十年代发出的蓝色的版本。后来,他听说妈妈生病,才动了回国省亲的念头。不知是孝心感动人或是凭他的土著身份,他顺利取得合法证件。没有护照,他一直没法踏出英国,婚后蜜月也只在英国度过。据他的太太说,取得护照那天晚上,他兴奋得抱着护照睡觉。

他们小两口在英国无亲无戚,常邀我的大女儿到家里度周末,也一起庆祝彼此的生日、他俩的结婚纪念日及其他节日,属于交情很深的朋友。两年前,Jay传短讯给我的女儿说他患癌。坏消息把我的女儿愣住了。虽然我的女儿与他们夫妇俩无所不谈,但是,凭她与他的太太十多年同事的交情,她期待Jay的太太能与她谈心事也一起分担生活上的风雨。令我的女儿失望的是Jay的太太不但冷淡回应我的女儿询问病情的电话与短讯,不再邀我的女儿也不肯赴我女儿的约。两年来断断续续的短讯都是Jay在问,我的女儿在答。多次碰到冷脸子,我的女儿失去耐性,后来不再主动致电,只在Jay询问时给他回电。

去年底,从Jay的短讯中知道他们俩到美国寻医,也从Jay传来的短讯中跟进他的病情。女儿回英国后,就接到美国传来的噩耗,也在这时才知道后期的短讯都是由Jay的太太用丈夫的手机所发出。

这发现让我的女儿很内疚,也很自责。她为了电话及短讯被冷漠搁置所引发的怒气顿时消失了,也后悔曾经嚷着“我不再是小女孩,她怎么能把我好意的问候与短讯置之不理?”,“她不屑理我,我今后也不会理她。”反过来,她心疼地说:“我明白了,这全是因为打击太大,她一时回应不来才拒绝与我谈Jay的病情,不该怪她。”

同一个人,同一件事,当你从不同的角度看,感觉竟然迥然不同。病人还健在的时候,没有“悔不当初”的感觉,你可以对人情的处理法吹毛求疵;可以任性地处罚你认为处事不当的人,一旦事情到了没有回旋的地步,你才惊觉自己当时太苛求以致误了事,遗憾的是这时已太迟了!

我的大女儿处事一向有分寸,少看到她如此痛心疾首,我只能安慰她说:“其实错不全在你,你已尽你所能,甚至在赶回国过年的途中停下脚步给他回短讯,你已仁至义尽,无需再自责。”等她的情绪平稳后,我会加上:从这次的经验,你该学到“凡事退一步,你能看到更清晰的局面,人生就少了许多没必要的悔疚。”

-----------------------寒梅

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

我家的喵喵

喵喵改过用撒尿表示抗议的坏习惯后,我对它无需再步步为营,生活就少了压力。

人猫相处的日子一久,感觉上喵喵似乎越来越有人性,甚至懂得解读我的指令。每当我找不到它,只需连声叫“喵喵”,再问它为什么没回应?它会立即跑到我身边,即使是在用餐之后躲着睡懒觉,它也会低声喵一声,让我知道它躲在哪儿。它有任何要求,会跑到我的身边,抬起头朝着我喵喵叫,然后引着我走。十有九次是把我引到储藏室门外,用头顶着门示意要我开门让它进去。不能确定它撒尿抗议的坏习惯是否彻底根除,我一直不放心让它进入藏有很多书的储藏室以防万一。一次又一次的失望,它可并不气馁,直到两个女儿回家过年,小女儿为它说项,它才得以如愿。

喵喵很害臊,家里来了生人,它就飞一般地觅地躲藏。从前,它总躲在小女儿房里梳妆台下那个特地为它布置的窝,如今则躲进储藏室里 。有时事出突然,它来不及跑进房,也总有办法躲得不见踪影。有一天,点种工人来洗地,它一晃就不见影子。那时储藏室的门还关着,我家地方小,能藏身的地方有限,我们俩寻遍了屋里每个角落,就是找不到它,让我担心了老半天,生怕它是趁我开门时溜出去。谁知工人才一离去,它就奇迹似地出现了,神出鬼没的功夫很了得。

小女儿一回家,喵喵就交回由她打理。只要小女儿迟给它吃早餐或没按时清理它的排泄物,它会跑来找我,喵喵叫着把我引到它的饭碗或供它排泄的沙箱边。大女儿看了好笑,说它很会打小报告,称它为Tell-Tale Cat。喵喵每天早晚各吃一罐罐头鱼,间中则吃猫干粮。只要它没把上半天的鱼吃个精光,我就不给它开晚餐。几次下来,喵喵学乖了,晚餐前必然把饭碗舔得干干净净,然后跑来找我要晚餐,比要妈妈追着喂饭的孩子更善解人意,所以我很疼它。

只要没有外人在场,喵喵像极了黏妈妈的小孩:我写稿,它卧在书桌上小抽屉的上面打盹;我煮饭做菜,它伏在洗碗盆前的窗台,眯起眼睛耐心地等,偶而还在我开关水喉时伸出前爪抓我的手;我坐在沙发上听新闻报导,它跳上来与我排排坐,累了就把身子蜷成一团,靠着我睡得很甜;我从外回家时,门一开,它必定忠心耿耿地在门边等我回来。我一进门,它喵一声表示问候。

喵喵唯有的消遣就是跟我的大女儿买给它的香包小老鼠玩,它装模作样地把小老鼠抛上丢下,再扑上前去抓它;有时则紧抱住小老鼠,与它摔跤;只要在地上放几粒乒乓球、几根吸水草,它就不亦乐乎地玩半天。精力太盛,无处发泄时,它用爪猛抓专为它而备,用粗绳缠成的Scratch pad。

喵喵偶尔也有淘气的时候,我走过它的身边,它突然跳过来抱住我的脚,吓了我一跳;预料我要走进房间,它的动作比我更快,箭一般冲进去,躲在床脚或匿在枕头堆里与我玩捉迷藏;我与朋友通电话,背向着它,它不甘被冷落,伸出前爪拍拍我的背,或是挤坐在窗槛上,伸前爪轻拍我的头引我注意,与顽皮的孩子无异。
别以为我返老还童,年纪老大了还逗猫儿为乐,其实猫儿不止调剂我的生活,也因为有照顾它的责任感,我不断告诉自己我得好好照顾自己,病了需住院留医,谁来照顾猫儿呢?喵喵实际上是推动我积极生活的原动力!
--------------------------寒梅

Friday, February 25, 2011

孙女的旅游日记

Jessica Chew
Travel Journal
Penang, Malaysia
18.9.10 to 3.10.10
Saturday 18.09.10
Off to Penang.
Sunday 19.09.10
We landed in Penang after midnight.We went to the Evergreen
hotel by mini bus.We stayed on level 18 which is
the highest level.We could see the sea through our window
from the 18th floor.
At lunch we ate chicken rice and drank ice tea. Next to the
restaurant there was a biscuit shop.We bought three moon
cakes in the shape of pigs.We also bought three lanterns
in the shape of a bird and a fish.
Then we went to a
temple which had a
large pagoda where
my Ah Kong
(grandfather) was
buried.We prayed
to Ah Kong.
From the top of the Pagoda
we could see views of life
in Penang showing the old
and new developments .We
could see the decorated
roof tops of temples and
where the land was cleared
and stepped out for farming
high in the mountain.
We saw turkeys and a chicken by the side of the road.
Then we went shopping with Ah Mah (grandmother), Kor
Kor(first aunty) and Sean Kor (Second aunty).
Monday 20.9.10
For breakfast we had roti chanai. Mummy had fruit with
chocolate sauce.We went to the reclining Buddha and Burmese
temple. The floor tiles show the lotus flower.We
found English Buddhist books and donated some money
by clipping it on a tree.We also found the pictures in one
of our books on the corridor leading up to this temple, the
pictures tell the life of Buddha.
Tuesday 21.9.10
We went shopping and Ah Mah bought us a tiger toy and
we had lunch at a Japanese restaurant passed food by train.
We went swimming in a pool with a fountain.
Wednesday 22.9.10
Kek Lok si temple, with the largest Goddess of mercy.We
went on a cable car to the top of 200 steps where there
were statues of the Chinese zodiac.We had ice cream and
we fed carp (a type of fish) and turtles.
At night we had the moon cake festival to celebrate the full
moon held in September. One lantern caught fire and burnt
up, so we walked very carefully with our lanterns. At the
dinner we were given two games and they were a monkey
game and Congkak (which is a very traditional game)
Thursday 23.9.10
We had a rest day and went out for dinner where we had
prawns, crab, sea snails and fish. I tried the fish.We were
at the end of the Penang island.We were really meant to be
there to walk on the beach but as always in Penang it was
raining, so we also did not see the sunset. So we just had
dinner then drove for an hour to get home to the hotel.
Friday 24.9.10
Shopping and time to show our ballet to Ah Mah
Saturday 25.9.10
We had fun playing in the playroom.We also went swimming
except not Daddy. That night the whole family met
for dinner we took up four tables and still half the family
was not there. I have 10 aunties and 4 uncles (on Ah
Mah’s side of the family) there were so many there that I
don’t know any of them also because there names are so
hard to say. For example my 3rd great aunty is Sah Ee Poh
and 3rd great uncle is Sah Teow Kong .
Sunday 26.9.10
We just played in the play room .We went to the night markets.
Penang comes alive at night the people eat out at
night and go shopping at night like we did.
Monday 27.9.10
We went to a swimming club for diner
Tuesday 28.9.10
Khoo Kongsi, then we went to little India and we saw the
Indian way of life and landscape (India architecture which
is the style of building}and shops selling Indian wears,
clothes and food.We bought beautiful bracelets.We couldn’t
ride on a trishaw (a bike with 3 wheels and a carriage
for passengers to sit with flowers and umbrella to shade
and decorate) as Ah Mah and Daddy suffered food poisoning.
The food is yummy and I love eating Indian fried
bread called roti chanai. My sister likes cheese naan a thick
Indian bread.
Wednesday 29.09.10
We went to a Penang fishing village and saw very poor
houses where people live on a jetty of planks over the sea
and fish to make money. The boats and houses were very
old. This showed another Penang landscape.We also went
to a fish Aquarium and a temple at the ocean. From here
you could see the fishing village next to huge modern tall
buildings.
Thursday 30.09.10
Today we are going to the snake temple where there are
snakes that don’t have cages. They would always stay still
there were at least 20 snakes .
We went to another temple and we saw turtles and fish
and a giant footprint that came from an emperor.
Friday 1.10.10
Shopping and family time at Queensbay mall we filled a
whole suitcase. Shopping is cheaper in Penang.
For example:
1RM is 1 x 2/5=40c
10RM is 10x2/5=$4.00
100RM is 100 x 2/5 = $40
Saturday 2.10.10
Shopping
Sunday
3.10.10
Get on the plane.
Home sweet home!
The homes in Penang are very different fromAustralia. The houses
looked crowded. Some houses looked run down.We saw animals running
free in the city. We saw cows, chickens and dogs next to busy roads.
There are many cars. Some of the cars do not have safety belts in the
back seat. The cars went faster in Penang.
There are many temples. There are different types of religions.We could
hear prayers 5 times a day.
The temples are all very beautiful. Sometimes we had to pay to see the
temples.
We saw many restaurants and eating stalls. Sometimes they were dirty.
The local people eat at these stalls. Sometimes food is sent around by
bike.
There are a lot of shops. The shops look bigger and with more things to
buy.
The local people starred at my sisters and I because we looked different.
Sometimes they liked to touch our cheeks and take our photos.
The End

去年我家大团聚,大孙女说她要用文字留下记忆。七岁的小女孩说的话,我不当一回事。后来,在悉尼与我的儿子见面,他说会把孙女的游记邮递给我。


我操纵电脑的能力有限,一直没法与读者分享孙女的文笔。直到翼骏帮我输入孙女的旅游日记才能与读者分享。谢谢翼骏。

孙女的旅游日记

Jessica Chew Travel Journal Penang, Malaysia

18.9.10 to 3.10.10

Saturday 18.09.10
Off to Penang.

Sunday 19.09.10
We landed in Penang after midnight. We went to the Evergreen hotel by mini bus. We stayed on level 18 which is the highest level. We could see the sea through our window from the 18th floor.
At lunch we ate chicken rice and drank ice tea. Next to the restaurant there was a biscuit shop. We bought three moon cakes in the shape of pigs. We also bought three lanterns in the shape of a bird and a fish.
Then we went to a temple which had a large pagoda where my Ah Kong (grandfather) was buried. We prayed to Ah Kong. temple which had a large pagoda where my Ah Kong (grandfather) was buried. We prayed to Ah Kong.
From the top of the Pagoda we could see views of life in Penang showing the old and new developments .We could see the decorated roof tops of temples and where the land was cleared and stepped out for farming high in the mountain.
We saw turkeys and a chicken by the side of the road.
Then we went shopping with Ah Mah (grandmother), Kor Kor(first aunty) and Sean Kor (Second aunty).

Monday 20.9.10
For breakfast we had roti chanai. Mummy had fruit with chocolate sauce. We went to the reclining Buddha and Burmese temple. The floor tiles show the lotus flower. We found English Buddhist books and donated some money by clipping it on a tree. We also found the pictures in one of our books on the corridor leading up to this temple, the pictures tell the life of Buddha.

Tuesday 21.9.10
We went shopping and Ah Mah bought us a tiger toy and we had lunch at a Japanese restaurant passed food by train. We went swimming in a pool with a fountain.

Wednesday 22.9.10
Kek Lok si temple, with the largest Goddess of mercy. We went on a cable car to the top of 200 steps where there were statues of the Chinese zodiac. We had ice cream and we fed carp (a type of fish) and turtles.
At night we had the moon cake festival to celebrate the full moon held in September. One lantern caught fire and burnt up, so we walked very carefully with our lanterns. At the dinner we were given two games and they were a monkey game and Congkak (which is a very traditional game) moon held in September. One lantern caught fire and burnt up, so we walked very carefully with our lanterns. At the dinner we were given two games and they were a monkey game and Congkak (which is a very traditional game)

Thursday 23.9.10
We had a rest day and went out for dinner where we had prawns, crab, sea snails and fish. I tried the fish. We were at the end of the Penang island. We were really meant to be there to walk on the beach but as always in Penang it was raining, so we also did not see the sunset. So we just had dinner then drove for an hour to get home to the hotel.

Friday 24.9.10
Shopping and time to show our ballet to Ah Mah

Saturday 25.9.10
We had fun playing in the playroom. We also went swimming except not Daddy. That night the whole family met for dinner we took up four tables and still half the family was not there. I have 10 aunties and 4 uncles (on Ah Mah’s side of the family) there were so many there that I don’t know any of them also because there names are so hard to say. For example my 3rd great aunty is Sah Ee Poh and 3rd great uncle is Sah Teow Kong .

Sunday 26.9.10
We just played in the play room .We went to the night markets. Penang comes alive at night the people eat out at night and go shopping at night like we did.

Monday 27.9.10
We went to a swimming club for diner

Tuesday 28.9.10
Khoo Kongsi, then we went to little India and we saw the Indian way of life and landscape (India architecture which is the style of building}and shops selling Indian wears, clothes and food. We bought beautiful bracelets. We could-n’t ride on a trishaw (a bike with 3 wheels and a carriage for passengers to sit with flowers and umbrella to shade and decorate) as Ah Mah and Daddy suffered food poisoning. The food is yummy and I love eating Indian fried bread called roti chanai. My sister likes cheese naan a thick Indian bread.

Wednesday 29.09.10
We went to a Penang fishing village and saw very poor houses where people live on a jetty of planks over the sea and fish to make money. The boats and houses were very old. This showed another Penang landscape. We also went to a fish Aquarium and a temple at the ocean. From here you could see the fishing village next to huge modern tall buildings.

Thursday 30.09.10
Today we are going to the snake temple where there are snakes that don’t have cages. They would always stay still there were at least 20 snakes .
We went to another temple and we saw turtles and fish and a giant footprint that came from an emperor. and a giant footprint that came from an emperor.

Friday 1.10.10
Shopping and family time at Queensbay mall we filled a whole suitcase. Shopping is cheaper in Penang. For example: 1RM is 1 x 2/5=40c 10RM is 10x2/5=$4.00 100RM is 100 x 2/5 = $40

Saturday 2.10.10
Shopping

Sunday 3.10.10
Get on the plane. Home sweet home!
The homes in Penang are very different from Australia. The houses looked crowded. Some houses looked run down. We saw animals running free in the city. We saw cows, chickens and dogs next to busy roads. There are many cars. Some of the cars do not have safety belts in the back seat. The cars went faster in Penang. looked crowded. Some houses looked run down. We saw animals running free in the city. We saw cows, chickens and dogs next to busy roads. There are many cars. Some of the cars do not have safety belts in the back seat. The cars went faster in Penang.
There are many temples. There are different types of religions. We could hear prayers 5 times a day.
The temples are all very beautiful. Sometimes we had to pay to see the temples.
We saw many restaurants and eating stalls. Sometimes they were dirty. The local people eat at these stalls. Sometimes food is sent around by bike.
There are a lot of shops. The shops look bigger and with more things to buy.
The local people starred at my sisters and I because we looked different. Sometimes they liked to touch our cheeks and take our photos.

The End
去年我们的家庭团聚中,我的大孙女说她要用文字留下记忆。一个七岁的孩子说的话,我不当一回事。去年在悉尼见面,我的儿子说他会邮递孙女的游记给我。

我操纵电脑的能力有限,一直没法与读者分享,直到翼骏帮我输入孙女的游记,才能成功上网。

Saturday, February 19, 2011

豪门生活

外甥女嫁入豪门,尽管夫婿对她疼爱有加,但是她一回到槟城夫家,就如一般小媳妇,事事以公婆的意愿马首是瞻,凡事全没有置喙的余地,甚至回娘家的时间都少得可怜。

她一向贪酸嗜辣,犹记得她在澳洲读书时,住在我儿子的家,每一回我到访,都给她带去一大包酸梅,煮阿参叻沙、冬炎辣汤给她解馋。如今,她吃不惯夫家淡然无味的菜肴也得勉强吞下喉,这是她远不如嫁给小市民的妹妹那么自由、快乐之处。

年初一,弟妹甥侄都来我家拜年,我特地给外甥女冲一杯她最爱的酸梅汤。她的女儿吵着也要喝,才喝一口,她就丢下手中的利宾那黑葡萄汁,把妈妈的饮品抢过手据为己有,喝得津津有味。她爸爸连哄带骗,要她舍酸梅汤喝葡萄汁。四岁的小女孩只知饮品合不合她的口味,不会考虑饮品的营养价值,她爸爸也奈何她不得。接着,她抓住一包粟米条(Twisties corn snacks)不放,因为从她爸爸的眼色,她意会到爸爸会用别的过年应节小食换她手中的美食。果然不出她所料,父女俩展开另一场拉锯战。直到她妈妈开腔,说一年一次,就让她吃她爱吃的,绝不会吃坏身体。外甥女是医生,说的话想必有所根据,外甥女婿才没话说。

初二,在大弟家里团聚,晚饭前,爱玩两手的家人围着赌荷兰牌。小女孩也凑兴,由她的妈妈当军师,玩得不亦乐乎。外甥女婿坐在我的对面,他虽没出声,但我看到他频频皱眉头。

次日, 临回新加坡之前,他们到祖屋来。外甥女的一对子女对大人的交谈不感兴趣,他们只顾追着小狗玩。四岁的姐姐紧抱住狗儿,三岁的弟弟则把狗狗卷着的尾巴拉直了。手一放,尾巴又卷回去。狗狗挣扎着跑开,他两姐弟满屋子追着狗狗,重复玩着,乐得嘻哈大笑。外甥女婿忙着给子女洗手消毒。外甥女看了好笑,说新年里,与外甥女婿的家人聚合,他家其他小孩的动作都斯斯文文,讲话也细声细气,就只有她的一对子女最“流氓气”。不过,能给小孩适度的自由,她并不在意家族里其他人的看法。

在豪门里,衣着行动言谈都深受身份所拘束,这是外甥女需付出的代价。她的女儿年纪小小,遇到隆重的节日,穿的不是公主装裙子便是童装旗袍。去年,我的小女儿到新加坡工作,一时找不到准许养猫的公寓,就在外甥女家暂住两个星期,她的女儿见这位表姨一身长袖衣长裤,一再问她:“Aunty Cheeng , you are boy or girl?”原来在小女孩的意识里,Aunty 应该穿裙,她弄不清眼前这个穿长袖衣长裤的“男人”怎会是Aunty?他们一家只在大节日才与我们见面,看不到我们这些市井小民的生活,其实,她弄不清的事还多着呢!

我的小女儿一向随性,她从小就爱吃Twisties,不是在超级市场里一小包一小包的买,而是要我带她到社尾街批发商那儿一买就是一大包。她从小到大,除了校服,穿裙的次数不多,但是 ,她可不是“男人婆”,在大场面里,她穿起旗袍,还真婀娜多姿。我这个做妈妈的,只要孩子过得快乐,我并不计较无伤大雅的细节,所以三个孩子都有快乐的童年,包括不少糗事,如今成为他们兄妹间彼此取笑的话题。比起豪门里的孩子,这个不许做,那个不准做,我们家孩子的童年生活还真精彩!

外甥女的“老爷、奶奶”尊重她是专业人士,加上外甥女婿是长子,是父母的心肝宝贝,她家“老爷、奶奶”对她们一对子女的“流氓气”只好张一只眼,闭一只眼。为了安全,一家人的行动都在家翁的卫星监视中;为了增加家庭气氛,当年结婚度蜜月,家翁家婆带了一家人陪伴,虽然费用有老爷买单,我相信时下的年轻人没有多少个受得了这种豪门的生活方式。
----------------------寒梅

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

《 秋决》电影分享会

大众影业公司在1972年推出的《秋决》,是一部获得第十届金马奖多个奖项的佳作,计有最佳剧情奖、最佳导演奖及最佳男主角奖。
《秋决》带出中国传统的伦理观念:
a.《秋决》带出中国人不孝有三,无后为大的伦理观念。
当老奶奶知道三代单传的孙子裴刚难逃死刑的命运时,为了替裴家传宗接代,竟然采用刑曹出的馊主意:买通狱卒,送个女人到死牢与裴刚成亲。这种做法史无前例,往后也不会有来者。难怪牢头会说从没听过有这种安排;老奶奶也承认,说如果事情不是发生在她孙子身上,她也不会相信有这种安排。从这种荒谬的安排足见中国人对传宗接代的观念有多执著。
b.古代中国女性传统的自我牺牲与奉献的妇德。
只为了报答裴家收留与养育之恩,莲儿奉献出的是一生的幸福------嫁给一个在等待秋决,寿命不到一年的男人,更重要的是那是个她并不爱、性格粗暴的男人。莲儿在裴家长大,她看清这个男人在奶奶溺爱之下的暴行和并不完美的性格。仓促间要她决定肯不肯到牢狱里与裴刚成亲,表面上看,老奶奶好像留给她选择的余地,实际上那是老奶奶一贯的杀手锏,她真有选择的余地吗?不过,身为古中国女人,她发挥了报恩、奉献、认命的妇德。如果剧情的女主角是西方女性或是近代东方女人,后果就不一样了。
c.古代中国富有人家的不健康心态:
古时中国富有人家总以为有钱能使鬼推磨。这种腐败的观念害了他人也误了自己:裴刚从小就被灌输以天塌下来都有奶奶顶住的理念,铸成他不明白杀人就得赔命的颟顸性格。他以为有个有钱的奶奶,即使伤了人,只需赔钱就没事了,所以他有恃无恐。一句“杀红了眼”,就能“要杀就杀个痛快”,他靠着有老奶奶撑腰,竟然一口气取了三条人命,是不健康的心态驱使他走上不归路;奶奶虽然知道杀人偿命的道理,但是她以为只要肯花钱,大事可以化无事,所以她斩钉截铁地说她卖田卖地,有办法把孙子弄出监牢,还很自信地安慰孙子说他很快就能回家。她贿赂刑曹、花钱要二爷上京疏通御使衙门里的换帖把兄弟、试图用银两收买牢头,无所不用其极,勾画出中国富人使钱要鬼推磨的丑陋面目。
《秋决》的教育价值:
a.为溺爱付出代价:
老奶奶看三代单传的裴刚犹如家传古董一样,必须小心翼翼捧在手心。她对裴刚的教育法是“不管你在外chuang(外门内马结构,我的手提电脑字典没有这个字)了多大的祸,都有奶奶替你担待。”裴刚小时抢了人家的玩具木马还打伤人。奶奶赔医药费了事,不怪孙子无理欺负人,还怜惜他在伤者家人上门理论时脸色都吓白了,这种教育法是害不是爱。这句话如今已经很经典,整40年前,有钱人家的老奶奶领悟不出这层道理。他们的价值观是:有钱人家的孩子是宝;穷人的孩子是草。
在这种娇惯教育下,把孩子惯坏了,养成“顺我者生,逆我者就该杀”,蛮不讲理的态度。祸根是自己种下的,老奶奶就得为错误的教育法付出代价。
b。书生不着痕迹的熏陶:
剧情安排个代父受刑的书生,不着痕迹地用深带哲理的话渗透裴刚的心。如果不细心观察,很难觉察出来。当裴刚不甘受牢头修理,发牢骚称自己“从小到大,没人敢碰我一下”时,书生说“要经过千锤百炼,才能炼铁成钢”;当裴刚说他怕死,不许任何人提“死”字,书生说“人有生自然有死,谁都免不了一死,只是死要死得心安理得”。书生的话当下并没引起任何反响,其实已在裴刚心里发酵,也是剧情的伏笔。三翻两次试着越狱的裴刚在牢头自愿牺牲放他走时,断然谢绝,为的是不让妻子与肚里的孩子失去尊严,不愿一家人永远蒙着逃犯的罪名过活,他选择死要死得心安理得。
《秋决》的生活价值:
a.百炼钢化为绕指柔:
谁有能力感化像裴刚这样被娇宠惯坏得残暴成性的人?狱卒的大拳头他不怕、牢头的拳脚他不服,但是娇弱善良的莲儿却有办法把百炼钢化为绕指柔 ,让一个杀到眼红就有理由杀人的狂徒醒悟自己罪有应得;一有机会就想法越狱的死囚不肯接受牢头牺牲自己,放他逃狱的好意;怕死怕得要命的人从容面对死刑,为的只是在保护肯为他牺牲一生幸福的莲儿和她肚里的孩子,让他们不必负着逃犯妻儿的罪名。在生活里,柔情更胜刚强!
b。理直气就壮:
当无赖的二爷为霸占裴家的产业,不肯承认莲儿是裴家媳妇的身份时,一向娇柔的莲儿记起老奶奶临终时的嘱咐-----对意图欺负她的人要坚强。她数着二爷误人误事的罪状,理直气壮地要二爷召集族人来论理,她恫言会当众揭发二爷诈财的勾当,把个刁钻奸诈的二爷吓跑了。莲儿,她有柔顺的一面,也有坚毅的时刻!
------------------------寒梅
注:
槟城妙香林寺诚邀有意观赏《秋决》的人士在农历正月十五日(17。2。2011)晚上八时正,出席在大雄宝殿右首的鼓楼举办的电影分享会。入场免费。

Thursday, January 27, 2011

《 落叶归根》电影分享会

《落叶归根》是一部在2007年获得金马奖肯定,也获得2007年柏林影展天主教人道精神奖的影片,内容以中国人落叶归根的传统思想为主题。
古时的中国人相信人死后若不归葬家乡,魂魄会被葬地的土地神所驱逐而沦落为异乡流浪鬼。为了不做异乡流浪的孤魂野鬼,有钱人家把亲人的遗体入殓后运棺回故里埋葬;穷人则请道士赶尸,让尸体在有道行的道士带领之下,靠死人的双脚一路跳着回家乡,才入土为安。像这部戏里,老赵背着老刘的尸体,万里迢迢走回家的情况只能在虚拟的剧情里看得到。尽管电影标榜着剧情根据真人真事改编,事实上,一具没加防腐的尸体能不能瞒天过海在人群中穿梭,很有争论性。不过,观众只需在欣赏剧情之余,在中国传统道德观念日渐淡薄的今天,重温中国人仗义、守诺的美德,就不失这场电影分享会的意义了!
剧情借着老赵为实践承诺而吃尽苦头,还坚持要把老刘完尸归故里,也为了保住死人的补偿金,老赵誓死与凶狠的劫匪理论,他仗义的行为感动了曾经出卖弟兄而被纹上“假仗义”的劫匪,带出了古时中国人一诺千金、仗义、坚持的价值观。我从老赵一路上的经历,体会到这部电影透过人物的举止言谈,表达出人性的善与恶。
曾经违背义气,拦车抢劫的劫匪领袖对老赵誓死为已故的同事保住死亡补偿金的壮烈行为所感动,把所抢的财物送给老赵后,带着手下下车离去,盗亦有道的做法叫今日心中眼里只看到财物的匪徒汗颜;同车乘客取回本该已属于老赵的财物,非但没有一句感恩的话,还纷纷吵着车上有具尸体要求退票,老赵只能带着尸体下车赶路,反衬出人性的自私与无情。
一般车主不肯停车载他一程,有的则一听到他带个死人就不肯让他搭顺风车,这是怕惹麻烦及对死人有所避忌的普遍心理,加以城市里常见心怀叵测的歹徒借搭顺风车伺机抢劫,你我可能也会有相同的顾忌。最不该的是半路车子抛锚,老赵帮忙推车以求能搭顺风车,谁知车子一能开动,司机就扬长而去,这是食言背约的缺德行为。所幸人间不尽是冷漠,也有司机肯载他一程,相比之下,善良坦荡的人性值得赞扬!
为了赚饭医肚皮,老赵为人哭丧。原来是活着的人无子息,想到死后无人送终,先为自己办一场风光的丧事。活死人为老赵仗义送死去的朋友回乡所感动,不但送他土方防尸臭的药物,还送他一部手推车运尸体。反映出仗义行事力能感动人,也带出了中国人要求身后事办得风光的心理。
有了手推车,运尸就省力。老赵一轻松下来,不服输的牛脾气就展现------他竟然以人推车与牛拉车较劲。人力输给牛力一个马鼻,幸亏遇上一位坚持要骑单车上西藏的青年给他加油打气,推他一把。这是个互相衬托的画面------老赵坚持要排除万难,一定要把老刘的尸体送回故乡;青年坚持要排除万难,不靠飞机火车,只凭体力骑单车到西藏,一老一少,相互勉励,画面感人。
手推车从斜坡滑下,摔坏了。老赵向路旁一位司机讨个报废的推泥机车轮胎运尸体。推动轮胎很吃力,下山坡时连轮胎带尸体滚下去。老赵心疲力倦,只好弃轮胎,改而想先挪用老刘的补偿金雇车送他回乡。路上吃饭遇上黑店,不得不先借用老刘的补偿金以求脱身,这才发现工地老板欺老刘已死,所发放的补偿金竟然是伪钞。连死人的补偿金都敢欺骗,工地老板吃人连骨吞,是人神共愤的孬种!这个发现不止让老赵崩溃了,观众对无良老板的丑陋面目也感到厌恶,对丧尽天良的人心彻底失望,我深信这一刻观众的沮丧不会轻于老赵。
身无分文,前面的路还很漫长,老赵心力交瘁,竟萌起与老刘一起异地共眠,死了算了的念头。他挖洞穴与老刘排排卧,用大石自击昏去,却被避世的养蜂人家所救,不但让他饱餐一顿,还不避忌死人,用车子送他们一程。养蜂人家的儿子吟唱的歌给他带来阳光的心情陪他上路。看到这里,我心里涌上一股暖流,毕竟是村夫俗子的心地比较单纯,待客比较热忱。
老赵为了换取食物填饱饥肠而去捐血。这是马来西亚的人民难以想像的事,也给我很深刻的启示------生活在丰衣足食的生活环境里,我们可曾知福惜福?我国有的是丰富的资源,却多的是身在福中不知福的子民,是多么大的讽刺!能不叫人感叹?
曾是乙型肝炎带菌者,老赵捐血不成却被卖血集团逼去卖血,这又揭出社会黑暗的一面。卖血集团------专靠别人的血谋暴利,昧着良知把带菌的血混着卖,陷病人于更深陷阱的吸血鬼!这里也充斥着被迫用鲜血换取生活的可怜人。老赵在这儿邂逅了一个捡破烂为生的单亲妈妈,为了筹钱供独生子读大学,她每三个月卖一次血,儿子却羞于有个捡破烂的妈妈,脸不红心不惊地要求妈妈只寄钱给他,不要妈妈去见他。这种娇宠得只知接受不懂感恩的新生代该打扁了丢在垃圾桶里与垃圾为伴!
故事在老赵一波三折中终于来到了老刘的家乡。老赵因疲劳过度晕倒送院,他一路背着尸体的真相终于被揭破。基于法律所限制,老刘的尸体难逃被火化的命运。老赵“我背也要把你背回家” 的诺言没法实践。骨灰送到老刘的家门口,但是,家园已因天灾所毁,后人已迁居湖北宜昌,老刘的尸骨回到家乡,仍然无法落叶归根,入土为安,是整部戏最大的遗憾。
这部不以俊男美女为号召的戏,载满了人性的写照、人情的冷暖及做人的道理,是一部值得一看的好戏。
------------------------寒梅
dakaixinchuang.blogspot.com
槟城妙香林寺将在农历正月十四(16-2-2011星期三)及十五(17-2-2011星期四)两晚,晚上八时正,在大雄宝殿右首的鼓楼举办电影分享会,《落叶归根》及《秋决》,欢迎有兴趣的人士随缘参与。入场免费。
注:
基于地域、时间及其他理由,不是每个想观赏这两部戏的观众都能出席电影分享会,愿能通过文章与大家分享。